Going
to a gay bar is like going to another country, compared with going to a straight
bar. In checking out heteronormative systems, I’ve decided to look at the clubs
of Portland to see what kinds of differences exist, and how they relate to
heteronormative culture. In my 20's, all my friends are supposed to like to drink, so there's no shortage of bar experiences tinged with heteronormativity to sift through.
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| Heterocommon? |
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| You can talk about this one. |
Stumbling into the nearest
gay bar with Aaron is a totally different experience.
No
one charges us to go into the gay bar, not even because we could pass as a
hetero couple. I like to think it’s because this bar is just infinitely cooler.
In the queer community, no one could charge the “opposite” sex or only half of
the “standard” relationship, because there is no “opposite” or “standard”. The
queer community has enough options that it’s either charge everyone, or charge
no one. We like the “charge no one” part of it, and commence the evening. It’s
interesting to go somewhere where heterosexual norms don’t apply, and it
becomes more and more obvious where the differences are. There's no assumption anyone is there looking for any one type of person. Liberation!
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| It's a slippery slope to unfortunate photographic evidence. |
Going
to the ladies room in a straight bar is a fool’s game. Inevitably, there’s a
drunk woman throwing up, with five of her closest drunk friends, and they’re all in front of
the sinks, stalls, and mirrors plotting which bar to go to next. Every time I
go into a straight bar women’s room, I make a new friend and get invited to the
next crawl. This isn’t because I’m that cool, it’s because I am trapped in the
bathroom waiting so long that I’m forced to assimilate. By the time I get out
of the bathroom, my friends have typically migrated from wherever I am
confident I have left them. I can't imagine how much more of a pain in the ass this could be if I didn't have able-bodied privilege.
Going
to the ladies room in a gay bar is everything going to the men’s room of a
straight bar is. It’s quick, easy, and there’s not always an out the door line.
If anything, the men’s room in the gay bar is more crowded, probably because
there are more men on location than for any other reason. I think gender-neutral
bathrooms would benefit us all in both bars, and I could continue to use my
system of going to whichever one doesn’t have a line. There isn't a fear of assault in the gender neutral bathroom of a gay bar the way there seems to be in every heteronormative structure in the area.
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| There are lots of bodies, and they all want to spend as little time in a sticky bathroom as possible. |
Walking back to my car, alone, forces me to check out my own heteronormative assumptions. On the street where all the gay bars are concentrated, I'm not worried about who I walk next to. The next street over in China Town, I quicken my pace. I know statistically nothing will happen to me. But I still jog to my jeep. The bouncer at the bar next to my vehicle starts to hit on me as I'm trying to find my keys, and asks what bar I've just come from. When I tell him a gay bar, he turns bright red and wishes me a safe drive. Heteronormativity is everywhere, whether we realize it, or not.
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